Iphigenia in Aulis

Iphigenia

If You Imagine Yourself Unblemished By Failure…

…I invite you to try your hand at parenting.

I’ve been going through a really challenging and bewildering episode with my daughter and her mother. Too challenging to try to explain, and too bewildering (and entirely too vague) for me to comprehend. The gist of it is that I haven’t seen my daughter in five months, and, while we had previously been in regular and direct communication, she has not responded to me in two months.

The situation between her mother and I is complex, and there is no simple resolution for this issue. I could turn to the courts and start throwing tens of thousands of dollars at the problem. Then her mother would somehow rustle up backers (people who aren’t willing to offer any day to day support but who are apparently stimulated by the prospect of litigation) and start throwing tens of thousands of dollars into the fray to fight against me.

Precious finances that could be used to enrich our child’s life would be spent on hostility. The dust would settle somehow in the favor of one or the other party. Rancor would resolve into hatred. A child would be further scarred and traumatized by parental warfare. And attorneys’ wallets would be fatter.

I can’t justify any of that.

Iphigenia

The Greeks Have Trodden This Path Before

So, I am stuck in limbo, wondering what part I have played in all of this (because no one from the “other” side will tell me).

During my meditations and reflections on my own parenting failures, my mind wandered into Greek mythology and I found myself contemplating the most tragic and heartbreaking myth I know. My studies of Social Psychology studies taught me that “sublimation,” – the harnessing of negative emotions into artistic inspiration that can be refocused into positive creative product – is a myth. I’m not going to argue with science. Nevertheless, I submit for your listening consideration this (scientifically unsupportable) product of my parental unhappiness. Great for whenever you feel like reflecting on dreadful parenting while listening to Blue Album era Weezer.

Iphigenia

Iphigenia’s thinking she’s gonna marry a hero
Oh yeah!
She believes you’re looking out for her, trying to make her dreams come true

So she’s traveling with her mama to a village of stone
Oh yeah!
You’re a hard man in a hard place of your own

Now you’re standing on the bridge and it’s such a long way down
But the dogs are hungry and they’re looking at you
Now you’re standing on the bridge, you could still turn around
Could anything be worth what you’re gonna do?

Iphigenia’s headed to the altar tomorrow
Oh no!
Man you’re gonna carry that pain ’til your very last day

All of your betrayals carve a chasm of sorrow
Oh no!
When they come to bury you in it what the hell are you gonna say?

You trade the treasure that you love the best
For the very thing you most detest
You choose destruction of your family
For the glory of your legacy